Category Archives: It’s all about me

I’m not dead

No, that’s a lie. I am dead. This baby is killing me, slowly, from the inside out.

I’ll write a real post as soon as I go a whole day without puking.

So…don’t hold your breath.

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Filed under It's all about me, parenting, pregnancy #3, vents and rants

And baby makes 5

If you follow me on Facebook…or Twitter…or any of my mom forums, then you already know this (and you now know that I use far too many social networking sites). But, for the 2 people who read this blog and don’t use any of the previously mentioned sites, then let me fill you in.

Saturday night, when we were at a friends house for Kevin’s birthday celebration, and I surprised him with a quite an…interesting gift.

For those of you not well versed in pee sticks, that’s 2 pink lines and 2 pink lines means there’s a bun in the oven!

The estimated date of the new Leggett arrival is June 6, 2010.

And, for prosperity humiliation sake, here’s a picture of my 4 week belly (read:flab)

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Filed under homebirth, It's all about me, parenting, photoabulous, pregnancy #3

Childhood Stories With Amanda -or- Let’s have a laugh at my expense

I give you, the story of how I came to be terrified of dinosaurs and museums and dark amusement park rides, and various other ridiculous things.

Once upon a time, long ago in the 80’s, I was a young girl who loved dinosaurs and I loved museums.

Then, when I was 9 years old (this was not in the 80’s, mind you. I’m not that old), I got to go to Florida with my Gifted class because we had the honor of being invited to watch the space shuttle Endeavor make its inaugural launch into space.. While we were there, we spent a day at Disney World/Epcot center.

When we were wandering around Epcot I saw a sign for the Universe of Energy ride.

This ride seemed like a winner because A: there was no line and B: it was a long ride/movie inside an air conditioned building.

Upon entering the ‘ride’ (at this point I thought it was just a movie) you are seated in big long bleacher seats that are facing a giant screen. On the screen you are presented with an exceedingly boring video about the mechanics of fossil fuels and how they effect our lives every day.

Then, all of a sudden, the bleacher seats start splitting apart into three sections and begin turning to the right. As you turn, the ‘wall’ to the right opens up and reveals this

Please note the tracks at the bottom of the picture, that’s what our bleacher cars are traveling on. Also note the dinosaur all the way too the left. He plays a very large roll in this sad tail.

That smug jerk.

Look at the expression on his face? All “La Dee Dah. Just chewing on these weeds. Don’t mind me, I’m just a robot, I can’t hurt you!”

LIES!

At this point I was mildly freaked out because I wasn’t prepared to be thrust into a prehistoric rainforest dripping with dinosaurs. And I do mean dripping. That cud hanging out of his mouth was oozing with robot saliva…I can still feel it dripping on my me as I scream in horror…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

As you can see in the picture below, the bleacher car travels right past this small flock of long necks. The bleacher car is to the far bottom left.

And this is when things went horribly wrong. Our car was in the exact spot as the car in the picture when all of a sudden it came to a screeching halt. But even though the car stopped, the robo-dinos did not. That dino to the far left kept bending down and slamming into my head with his dripping wet sea weed cud over and over and over and over. None of my friends had gone on the ride with me, so I was packed into my seat with strangers to my left and no room to scoot away from the dino assault. I have no idea how long this went on, but it felt like an eternity.

And when it was finally over, I left that ride a very different girl. Since that day, I haven’t been able to go to museums or amusement parks without suffering from overwhelming anxiety and full on panic attacks. Because I’m obviously the most rational person alive.

Incidentally, The Universe of Energy was revamped in the late 90’s and now your tour guide through the ride is an animatronic Ellen DeGeneres robot, which might just be more scary than the dinos.

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Filed under It's all about me, PSA, vents and rants

Well, hello there…

In an effort to not send myself over a virtual cliff, I’m not going to even look at the date of my last blog. I’m just going to act like I still have a few people out there reading my sporadic ramblings.

So, for those of you not ‘in the know’, Kevin got a new job. He’s working from home full time now which rocks. It’s very surreal, actually, to wake up every morning and have Kevin home with us all day. To be able to come and go as we please. Very strange, very awesome.

Of course, because WBU has this silly rule about former employees living in staff housing, we’ve had to move…again. If you’re keeping score that’s 8 moves in 7 years. We’re hoping for this move to be pretty permanent. While the house is a bit of a tight squeeze, it’s located in the neighborhood of our dreams and I think we’d all 4 be thrilled to settle down here for good.

In other news, we’ll be doing first grade forever. Between several weeks of sickness this year, and the move we’re about 6 weeks behind where we need to be. Good times. However, Caedmon seems to be thriving pretty well in the hectic environment. He’s had a huge leap in his reading in the past few weeks and his math skills are out of this world. I’m going to have to start saving up now for a math tutor because there’s no way I’m going to be able to keep up with him!

Wow, I’m putting myself to sleep here. Seriously. This is the most boring post I’ve ever written.

Alrighty then, if you made it through that I owe you a cookie. Perhaps I’ll be back in another few months to wow you with a witty retelling of how Presley likes to pee all over the floor and laugh at me as I clean it up. Stay tuned!

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Filed under blog business, caedmon, It's all about me, parenting, presley

Flashback blogging part duex

Saturday, February 04, 2006
 
Um…Thanks?

I had the privilege (read: duty) to attend one of Caedmon’s many pre-school parties this afternoon. I generally love going to these little events, however, the last 4 weeks they’ve learned about a new country every week and had a country-themed party EVERY FRIDAY.  I know a party doesn’t sound like anything to be annoyed with, but “party” in pre-school language roughly translates to: “all-the-stay-at-home-mommies-come-and-bring-all-the-food-and-set-up-the-entire-party
-then-stay-and-clean-up-the-party-because-really-what-else-do-you-have- to-do-besides-eat-chocolate-and-watch-Oprah”. I can deal with that once a month, but every Friday gets old. I digress, even though I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of serving juice and animal crackers to eighteen 4 year olds, I was somewhat excited about the prospect of a little adult conversation. That being said, I actually took the time to put on makeup and even iron my clothes (gasp!).  So, I waddle my large self into the party room feeling like I looked a notch or two better than a bloated beached whale. Then the following conversation took place between me and one of  the other mom’s.

Other Mom:  “Wow, you look like you’re about ready to have that baby.”

Me: *looking down at my gigantic protruding belly* “Yeah, I’ve really gotten big these last few weeks.”

Other Mom:  “I can just tell by your face, you’ve got that…that…”

*At this point I’m already smiling and batting my eyelashes, thinking she’s going to finish that sentence with “that glow”. So I was getting all geared up to tell her that, in fact, I fake that pregnancy glow with my new Bare Escentuals Mineral Make-up (which is FABULOUS, btw).*

Other Mom cont.: “…that pregnancy look, ya know? You’ve filled out…your face has gotten fat.”

Me: “Well, you see it’s this new…wait, what? Oh, um…I guess…well…yeah…um…I hadn’t noticed.”

Other Mom: “Oh yeah, it’s definitely filled out. You’ll be having that kid in no time. Your due date is the end of this month right? I bet you won’t make it another 2 weeks.”

Me: “Actually, my due date is the last week of March/first week of April.”

Other Mom: “Oh…”

*Awkward Silence*

Me: “I’m gonna go help Carol with the juice…”

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Filed under caedmon, It's all about me, parenting, pregnancy, vents and rants

Did you know I used to blog? And I was funny, too!

It’s beginning to look like my two year blogging hiatus might actually be nearing it’s end! Presley is finally learning to watch TV the fine art of independent playing.  Caedmon is in a good rhythm with his school work. My house is dirty, but who cares. I’m carving me out some blogging time baby!

So, in honor of that (and to inspire some creativity in the dust filled corners of my brain) I’m going to be doing a series of flash backs to some of my favorite posts. Posts that, sadly, can’t be transferred into the archives of this blog because Xanga is…stupid.

So, without further ado, I give you the musings of my pregnant self roughly 2 years ago…

Thursday, February 02, 2006
 
An open letter to the un-named child in my uterus:

Dear Pint-Sized Tyrant,

Ok, look. I get it. I understand that things are getting cramped down there. I’m sure it’s annoying to have your brother slam into you repeatedly throughout the day, screaming “ARE YOU AWAKE BABY?!”.  I get that your hiccups probably aren’t fun for you either. But tell me, please, what can I do to make you stop rejecting everything I eat?  Just tell me what it is you want me to eat and I’ll send daddy out to get it, promise. I mean, the puking? For 8 months? Don’t you think that’s a bit excessive?

If you just can’t manage to help me hold the food down, I can probably deal with that on one condition: You must get off the bladder. Post haste.  It really isn’t funny at all to kick Mommy’s bladder when she’s puking. It’s also not funny to kick Mommy’s bladder while she’s sleeping. And it’s certainly not funny to sit on Mommy’s bladder when she sneezes. Ok, maybe that last one is a little bit funny, but only for Daddy.

While we’re at it, dear, let’s talk about the kicking. Now, don’t get me wrong, the kicks? They’re adorable. Mommy loves the kicks, really she does. But, why must you kick at 2:45 am every. single. night.?  I don’t understand. I really don’t. It’s not 2:30, it’s not 3:00. It’s 2:45 am on the dot. How do you know little fetus? How do you know?! Can you hear the clock in there?  Can you feel it when Mommy finally hits that wonderful stage of deep sleep? Whatever it is that compels you to do this, please, resist the temptation. Just sit still for a few more hours and let Mommy sleep.

That’s all for now. Enjoy the rest of your stay and we’ll see you in a few weeks.

Sincerely,
Management

P.S. When you squish yourself all to one side of your little abode, it makes it really hard for Mommy to pull off that cute, round, belly look. Could you quit with that? Thanks.

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Filed under blog business, It's all about me, parenting, presley, vents and rants

Didn’t I use to write…or something?

I’m pretty sure I did.

But then I had this kid and she’s really demanding. And cute. Lawd is she cute!

And then there’s the other kid. Not quite as demanding, but equally cute.

It’s become increasingly easier to post pictures of them in lieu of typing, what with the cuteness and all. Not to mention the fact that typing one handed is not one of my skills and Presley requires that I do so.

Like right now, for instance. The little monster…er…princess is desperately trying to crawl into my lap while screeching “Num nums! Num Nums! Nuuuuuuuuuuuum nuuuuuuuuuums!”

So, I give in. And here I am, typing one handed. I can’t be witty with one hand. Heck, I can’t even be legible with one hand.

I’m not sure what it is about being on the computer that draws my children to me. I will sit with them for hours in the living room as they play together, watch tv, eat a snack. They don’t even so much as look at me. But the instant my hands hit the keyboard they come running.

“Mom! Can I have a cookie?”

“Num Nums! Num Nums!”

“Mom! Can you turn me into a robot?”

“Num Nums! Num Nums!”

“Mom! Why do I have eyebrows?”

“Num Nums! Num Nums!”

“Mom! Does my foot smell?”

“Num Nums! Num Nums!”

“Mom! What if my name was Ahukjnibgtdryuyghb Pthhhhhhhhhh?”

“Num Nums! Num Nums!”

AHHHHHHH!

Little blessings, they are.

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Filed under blog business, boob-a-liscious, caedmon, It's all about me, parenting, presley, vents and rants